T-Shirt - LWS*, Skirt - Zara, Sequin Jacket - Vintage, Shoes - Sokos

I quite enjoy mixing prints, especially of matching color. Also, I love sequin, in any shape and color. About a week ago I spent some quality time with Jade in the studio, taking her graduation photos as well as shooting some outfits (including this one). I really don't have too much to say, other than that I probably should inform you about my upcoming three week absence starting this Sunday due to my trip to Scotland. One reason why I love Finland Swedish schools is their generosity - indeed the first year English students are annually offered a trip to Edinburgh to get familiar with the University of Edinburgh, and of course Scottish culture in general. I have to admit I'm a bit nervous about meeting the family I'm going to stay with. Although (luckily) they seem very nice, and I doubt we'll be facing any problems! But there's always that presence of a mixture of nervosity and excitement when traveling somewhere unfamiliar. Anyway, you'll probably be seeing more of me on Instagram during those three weeks than over here. Just so you know. Well, see you in three weeks, I guess!



"The Play of Life"

Photographer: Sara Lehtomaa
Model: Jade Than

I have my moments when I'm really stressed out about stuff. Stuff that isn't all that important. And it often times keeps me awake at night. There's this never ending monologue going through my mind about all the things I'm concerned about. Going through future events beforehand, for instance, is a classic. As much as I hate to admit it, it's silly stuff, and it has to do with my control freak ego. Me being worried about how I come across to people. Of course, to a large extent, it's a primal need - an instinctual coping strategy, making sure that I'm accepted into a group of people. And precisely for this reason it is extremely hard to suppress. It's actually pretty funny because while doing it I do realize none of it matters. And when I say none I really mean itOf course it does matter to you because you naturally want your existence to be pleasant. But what I mean is that we're part of such an immense, infinite universe that one tiny planet called Earth, and certainly one tiny person by the name of Sara, hardly matters in the big picture. 

        We like to think so much of ourselves - that we're special beings with an important role to play in this world. And usually that is how we end up spending our whole lives, committing to that certain set of roles, thinking "this is it, don't screw it up". Taking it so damn seriously. The truth (and the truth is always arguable because who really knows shit) is we exist, just like any other beings on this planet. And what we do really doesn't matter as much as we think it does. But I don't mean to say this as a pessimist (because I'm aware that that's how it may come across to many). And while saying that nothing matters often leads to the subject of suicide - if there's no point in living, why live at all? - I've found a different kind of approach. Why not think of it as a sort of freedom? If nothing matters, that means you are no longer tied to anything, "society's expectations" etc. All that's left is you, and your own experience. When it comes down to it, there's truly the possibility to do anything you want to. The choice is yours (with certain limits depending on one's fortune, I might add). Quoting Bill Hicks from his show in 1993 called Revelations: 

The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love.

        I also had an interesting conversation with my boyfriend one night when discussing this topic. He asked me: "What would you do if you were God?". First I was quiet for a moment and didn't really know what to reply, since honestly I had never given it a thought. Then I thought, of course I would create a world, which would be a nice place to live in, where everyone would be well off. After that he asked: "What would you do after creating it? Would you get involved or stay as a spectator?". I said, "I would every once in a while be part of it".  Right after uttering those words I had a huuuge "mind-blown" sensation. That might as well be the case. And by the way, I'm by no means committing to the simulation theory here, just keeping my options open (lol). But I think it also serves as a good metaphor for you being in control of your own life, and having the potential to live it as you please. Of course you may argue that people born in extremely poor conditions don't have the chance to do that. But that's exactly why we who are capable should the least by our way of thinking slowly but surely change the course of our common future. Because what are we but a huge interconnected stream of consciousness actualizing itself in physical from. 

        My point being; realize you don't matter; understand that the whole charade is all a product of our minds; accept it; proceed to take on a role based on what makes you (and preferably the people around you) happy and do not for christ's sake take it too seriously. Because "it's just a ride". I also remember someone saying "be the superhero in your own movie". I like that saying.



Shirt - H&M, Skirt - Zara, Leather Jacket - Zara, Shoes & Sunnies - Vintage



A short video with random clips from last Thursday. I thought it was a fun idea to document us celebrating first of May, or 'vappu' as it is called in Finland (just for fun, but also because we might be using the material for a later school related video, which I won't be getting in on any further at this point). I've always been really fascinated about videos (and photographs obviously) and their ability to capture a moment just like that. It is actually one of my favorite past times to watch old videos. It's not that I'm desperately trying to hold on to the past, it just gives me a really warm and cozy feeling, cheering me up whenever I'm having a bad day, reminding me that there is so much good in life. And it makes you appreciate those moments, which perhaps, at the time they happened, didn't seem too significant. It makes one cherish those moments and want to keep creating new ones.



Model: Jade
Photographer: Sara Lehtomaa

This was a fun day. Shooting with Jade is always a pleasure thanks to her enthusiasm. I also love to hear her ideas about styling, makeup, etc. In my opinion it's always better to have an extra pair of eyes working on the photograph. That way you'll have to question your own view before making the decision, and together it's possible to come up with stuff that you may not have been able to do on your own. Two minds is simply better than one. Btw if you're on Spotify make sure to check out my playlists (I just now got on there and feel very enthusiastic about it to say the least - I love making playlists!). If you've been following my blog for a longer while you should know what I'm all about when it comes to music. Click here to listen! And please do follow me because the only follower I have is my friend whom I forced into it...